Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Citi Has 2 Chefs

In yet another sign of the Apocalypse it seems popular Citi bank analyst Mike Mayo has lost his VIP access to Citi's board room and current CEO Vikram Pandit. It appears that Mr. Mayo had the audacity to announce to the world that Citi, not only has a chef in the kitchen but one in the accounting office and is cooking the books by inflating its earnings through an accounting gimmicks.

Really! You don't say! How dare they?

To which I respond with.... you just figured this out Mayo?

I need to yet again pull out the infamous heavily accented office cleaning company owner quote from the movie Wall St. You remember, the one Charlie Sheen invades as a consultant to gain access to office towers, via the cleaning company for insider info....

"Thank you for telling me what I already know!"

No offence Mayo but what was your first clue? That maybe Citi was and is NOT carrying its loan book at mark to market values?

That maybe when a loan is carried on your books for 95 cents and the market price is more akin to 30 cents you might have a small problem and it starts with fictitious and should end in prison?

Mark to fantasy, extend and pretend, delay and pray. These are all important pieces of Citi and pretty much every other bank out there that made Liar Loans, NINJA loans, fog a mirror then sign here loans.

While we're on this subject, can someone explain to a simpleton like me why Mike Mayo from Citi has one on one access to the Citi's CEO and the analyst at Pikerville Securities does not? You can save your breath chanting the SEC maxim of equal access for all investors garbage. Why is a private meeting allowed and if so why are the minutes of said conversation not taped and made accessible to idiot bloggers like myself?

Oh well, what does it matter anyway. Vikram Pandit running Citi is like Charlie Sheen or rather Bud Fox in the movie Wall St. actually getting to run Bluestar Airlines. A massive joke, but then again could it get much worse than what they had before. In all defence of former CEO Chuck Prince, of 'musics still a playin' we're still a dancin' fame, Mother Theresa could have been at the helm and suffered the same or possibly worse fate. The tide went out and we all saw the emperor was swimming naked, Prince just happened to be the emperor at the time.

Which reminds me why I keep Peter Lynch, famed Fidelity Magellan fund manager, in such high regard. He had the humility, something the vast majority on Wall St. cannot spell let alone know what it means, to admit that he had the mother of all bull markets as a backdrop to accomplish his feats.

Good speculating to you all and please remember to never forget that "an investor is a speculator who made a mistake and will not admit it".

Open Positions:
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