Friday, May 4, 2012

FLEECEEMOL is the Answer

FLEECE-EM-OL (avaritia maximus) is the only prescription medication clinically proven to treat Deficient Net Worth Disorder (DNWD). In all but the most severe cases (ie. Jon Corzine). I believe this new drug can really jump start our economy boosting consumer confidence.

Unlike Reachemol which treats DFD, Deficient Popularity Disorder, Fleeceemol will increase you net worth big time! So much so that people will not only like you they will grovel at your feet on major financial network television, instead of shunning you like an Old Testament leper. Yes all this with few side effects!

Now I had my doubts about Fleeceemol given its claims to:

Increase net worth
Boost bundling abilities to buy politicos and regulators
Become more attractive on the trophy wife circuit
Write financial policy
Win senatorial and gubernatorial elections
Spread belief you're doing God's work
Brainwash you that crony-capitalism is free market capitalism

Sure sounds good I thought. Then I worried about those dreadful side effects which include:

Narcissism
Trophy wife exit fees
Obsessive art collecting
Early onset of mid-life crises
Headaches associated with legions of grovelling yes men
Muppet-phobia

For those unaware both Fleeceemol and Reachemol are fictitious drugs but I encourage big pharma to get on this wagon now!! Why work hard, why have an ethical standard, why run the risk of getting drummed out when overnight you can cook the books, hide the losses in SIV's or offshore entities, front run, obfuscate and outright lie all with one tiny little green pill?





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